I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I have aggressive nipples.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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