ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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