Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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