people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
