My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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