i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
