i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
