i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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