babies were throwing up all over the place
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
