This is not my ceiling
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
