I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
