Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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