Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
