At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I want to be your penis for a week.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
