When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
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I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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