I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just had sex bonerless
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
