I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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