OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
