I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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