unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
