I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize