I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
