the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
