"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I believe in your delicious
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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