I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
