she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
