Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
