I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
