4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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