YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
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We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
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2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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