sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
