i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
