Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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