I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beers last night were like the tears from god
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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