I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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