shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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