We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So squirting runs in the family.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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