So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
