the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize
