She announced her abortion via fbk
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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