so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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