if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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