my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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