Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
