Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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