She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My bed smells like the plague
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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