Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize