u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
