I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
