i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
