i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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