There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
