Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
