remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
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Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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