it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize