Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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