We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
