How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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